Mickey Malta

Notes from the zone where 'normal' things don't happen very often

Posts Tagged ‘Maltese

Mass on Facebook

leave a comment »

I will attract youngsters to me thanks to this trendy attire

The smiling bishop has just claimed that “The Catholic Church should examine itself and its methods of evangelisation” according to The Times. I guess that this means that we will be flooded with Facebook churches and “bible reading of the day” tweets.

Obviously, the Church needs to choose a medium that is a one way communication vehicle. No matter how much the Catholic Church talks about changing times, it has to keep preaching and talking down to its followers. It has no other option because it’s a religion. It is promoting a product full of logical fallacies, superstition and fantasy; and blind faith is the only reason why people don’t question and challenge their beliefs. The minute that dogma is challenged, the very existence of the organisation is threatened. That’s why Religions have to resort to indoctrination as opposed to teaching – even though they claim otherwise.

When you teach something to someone, you reason it out, discuss it with the learner, let him or her challenge your claims, and reach a conclusion. For very obvious reasons, no religion can ever adopt this approach. Otherwise there will be chaos together with a whole myriad of mixed messages coming out from different people.  For this reason, no religion can be ‘modern’ and appealing to an intelligent society.

It’s also funny to see the head of Rocker Curia coming up with this assertion, especially when this is put into the whole context of his previous assertions. Only a few months ago, these same heads were on the brink of hysteria to intimidate and control revellers at the Nadur carnival; when carnival is the reign of anarchy.  The smiling bishop is also that same person who lashed out at secularism during his homily on 8 September 2008.

If the heads of our Curia can’t understand post-modern philosophy – which is now passé, how can they ever think of speaking the language of “modern people”?


Written by mickeymalta

18/04/2010 at 10:34

The blue penis deceit

with 2 comments

Not approved by the Neo C posse

Fresh from The Times

Luqa ‘phallic’ monument hidden with banner

Members of the Neo Catechumenal Movement hid the infamous Luqa monument with a banner as the Pope passed through Luqa on his way to Valletta.

The large black and white banner carried the words “Cammino Neo Catecumenale” and a colour picture of the Madonna and child.

The phallic like structure in Luqa has made it to the international news in the past days after the mayor requested its removal.

Essentially, the messages that the Neo C sect is sending are:

  • the Pope will interpret the Luqa phallus as a practical joke related to his paedophile subjects’ favourite tool
  • the Pope is not old/mature enough to be exposed to sexual imagery
  • the Pope lacks any intellectual ability to appreciate modern art
  • it’s OK for all other Heads of state and common (Rocker) folk to be exposed to the blue penis, but the Pope is a cut above the rest

If Nazinger is allergic to blue penises, then he should not be allowed to watch Watchmen.

Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 17:41

Arabs with shoes on

with one comment

National sport: a Rocker looking down on an Arab from his high horse

I really think that it’s ironic how Rockers tend to look down from their high horse on the Arab and Muslim world. Many Rockers regard both Arabs and Muslims as a bunch of people stuck in a time warp thousands of years away from  us. And they are right.

Now, for the record, I’m being generous here. Some Rockers can’t fathom the reality that there are many different cultures within the Arab world: that it’s not just one big country called Arabia. Worse still, many more don’t even regard them as humans at all.

The irony is that they fail to see the reality that our European cousins look at us in the same way we look at the Muslim/Arab world. The absence of divorce and our Quaker approach to abortion project a Neanderthal image in our cousins’ eyes. So the moral of the story is: before you start berating your cousins down south, keep in mind that we are to our cousins up north what the Muslims/Arabs are to us. An English friend of mine defines the Rockers as “Arabs with shoes on.”

These last few days I couldn’t help myself pointing out to those who were shocked and expressing their dismay at the Dubai incident that that this is a classical case of the pot calling the kettle black. It’s true that this incident an extreme case, but let’s not forget that the absence of civil rights and liberties here is equally shocking to countries that are more secular – and by consequence – more advanced: both economically and intellectually.

The common denominator between the two realities (us and them Arabs) is . . . . . surprise, surprise: Religion. I’m not going to go into how religions keep people backwards. I think that I made my case during lent, l and I don’t want to sound like a broken record.

Ironically, many Rockers jump at every opportunity to tell the Arabs how backwards they are whenever they interact with them. Yet, at the same time, these same people get all worked up and defensive whenever they are – rightly so – told that this Rock is still stuck in the 17th century. They retaliate by invoking foreign interference and by telling the foreigners to mind their own business.

I guess that some people are in a dire need of a reality check.

Written by mickeymalta

07/04/2010 at 16:46

Is it “SON” or “SUN”?

leave a comment »

Is Mary holding Horus?

Like any other person living on this little rock, I have had my share of overexposure to religion. As I grew up I felt increasingly uncomfortable with a number of beliefs within Christianity that did not make sense to me and the deeper I delved, the further I moved away from Christianity and any other form of organised religion.

For these last 18 years or so I have been free from religion, and the one thing that works me up is when people ask me why do I refrain from stealing from others, killing those people I don’t like, and sleeping with every woman I meet since I don’t believe in the afterlife. This is horrifically shallow and offensive at best. Essentially, what they mean is that the only reason why they “lead a good life” is to win the headmaster’s prize when they present themselves in front of The Judge.

I get a whole potpourri of ridiculous comments and snide remarks and the minute I start challenging their beliefs, I get a standard reply: faith is above reason – there’s no need to doubt what you believe in. I understand. Ignorance is bliss. People like Darwin and Galileo should have never challenged a book that is based on legends passed on from one generation to the next since the Bronze Age. After all these two scientists were wrong, weren’t they?

I’m a firm believer in the power of knowledge as this is the best form of defence against brainwashing and superstition. There’s no better illustration than Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to explain the message I want to convey.

Here’s some food for thought: the next time you hear about the “Son” of God think about what kind of “Sun” the speaker is talking about. You may also want to drop the name “Horus” or “Krishna” or “Mithra” amongst others. Who knows, maybe you get asked: “what’s the difference between them?”

Written by mickeymalta

06/03/2010 at 16:10

Just give us concrete proposals . . . . not fluffy titles

leave a comment »

I'm progressive . . . . even my t-shirt says it

Joseph Muscat is constantly harping about this new movement for progressives and moderates, but to me it seems to be millions of light years away what is considered as being normal in the developed world.

A cursory look at the co-pilot is enough. Anglu Farrugia is the embodiment of anything that is diametrically opposed to progressive AND moderate. He’s an ex long serving cop (can cops ever strike anyone as being moderate or progressive?) and, worse still, he was on the forefront in the Force during the dreadful Mintoff / KMB years. And how can we forget his shenanigans immediately after the electoral was announced in the last election? His reaction was puerile for want of a better word.

The same applies to Alex Sceberras Trigona. His long flirtations with totalitarian regimes in the dreadful ’80s don’t exactly make him an eligible candidate for Mr Progressive or the Nobel Prize for Moderate people.

So if he really wants to gain credibility, Muscat has no other option but to produce a Jason Micallef sequel and replace Farrugia with a decent and truly moderate chap like Gavin Gulia. Ditto for  Sceberras Trigona who has to be replaced by someone who is truly moderate and has no skeletons in the closet.

But the buck doesn’t stop there. That’s just the beginning. Political parties and movements are all about policy. I is the movement’s policy that dictates whether it is truly progressive, not slogans  and self flattery.  Unless Joe Muscat comes up with concrete proposals to be implemented when in government, then this movement is as virtual as my avatar in Second Life.

If Muscat really wants to lead the progressives to the promised land, it is fair to expect that the electoral manifesto in a few years’ time would include the following proposals:

  • the introduction of divorce (a concrete proposal instead of his current gimmick )
  • a legislation in favour of same gender marriages – the formation of a LGBT group is not enough to eradicate discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation; it’s yet another empyu gimmick
  • the total abolition of censorship on any form of art
  • the total abolition of archaic laws regulating political and religious satire, and carnival attire
  • a legislation that regulates prostitution so as to protect the prostitutes from their pimps, and their clients from an increased risk of STDs
  • the total removal of censorship on media on the basis that whoever wants to broadcast  and/or distribute pornographic material can do so through dedicated channels with the necessary parental control and anti-paedophile procedures in place
  • a law that allows private establishments to apply for special licenses that will make it possible for them to operate as strip clubs – at the moment we have a typical Rocker watered down version of these clubs and it is absolutely ridiculous
  • the decriminalisation of possession of soft drugs for personal use
  • a law that allows for abortion to take place in the following cases: rape; where there is strong scientific evidence that the baby will be born in a vegetative state; where complications caused by the pregnancy endanger the mother’s life
  • the removal of any restrictions on shop opening hours; if the owner of the grocer shop  down the road wants to operate his business on a 24 x 7 basis, then he should be allowed to do so

By the standards of our European cousins, most of the above points are not progressive at all. If anything, they’re moderately progressive. They’re akin to our big achievement of freedom of speech in 1987 when the whole of the developed world had been enjoying this right for decades.

I can write reams about each and every point mentioned above to explain and justify how it is high time to give the inhabitants of this rock a push towards normality. The claim that EU membership is not a la carte should not only be applied to economic principles. There’s a social dimension to it, as it has a direct impact on the way we lead our lives.

It is so easy to come up with slogans and to give yourself fancy titles. I can call myself superman, but that won’t give me the faculty to fly at the speed of light. The essence lies in actions not words.

Written by mickeymalta

23/02/2010 at 14:22

The Rock’s favourite sport is back

leave a comment »

The ad is as colourful as the sport itself

The ad is as colourful as the sport itself

As from tomorrow, the Rockers will have the opportunity to practice the nation’s popular sport that’s rapidly replacing football at the top of the table.  Following the massive success achieved by the Manwel Dimech Bridge Walk Your Car sporting event, ADT decided to ‘up the challenge’.

This year’s event is expected to be even more interesting and challenging as the enthusiasts will be walking their car uphill or downhill (depending on the direction they’re going in). Additionally, there’s a change in rules as speed limit will be changed from 45Km/h to 30Km/h – a significant challenge that should make the whole experience more interesting.

My sources within the ADT confirmed that there will be a number of stalls and kiosks (selling walk thru breakfast, lunches and dinners) for the thousands of people who are expected to flock around this area as from tomorrow. My sources also confirmed that in its bid to ensure complete success for this event, the ADT walked the extra mile and took care of the ‘aftermath of the event’. This Authority takes its Corporate Social Responsibilities very seriously and, in liaison with The Rock Employers’ Association, it has been providing preparatory training and guidance in “Handling Adrenaline Pumped Employees” to the employers of the registered sport enthusiasts.

Detailed rules and regulations of this sport, together with a list of approved EU certified car leash suppliers will be posted shortly on the ADT website on the following URL: http://www.maltatransport.com/walkyourcar.

Written by mickeymalta

07/04/2009 at 10:59

Posted in Blog Main Page

Tagged with ,

Maj lingwistikk dajlema

leave a comment »

Is it a dilemma or a dajlema?

Is it a 'dilemma' or a 'dajlema'?

I am one of the many people who cringe when they see words spelt like: “kowc”, “bagit”, “junjin”, and other strange looking words in a language we called “Minglixx” (pronounced Minglish using English phonetics).

At school, my friends and I used to take the mickey (no pun intended) out of grammatical mistakes by writing phonetic Maltese which was identical to the examples I just cited. Little did we know that this would have inspired the Maltese language gurus who turned this into official language!!!!

Now it’s all over the place: newspapers, books, television and magazines. It’s a complete eyesore and I hate this form of ‘grammar’ with a passion. When I look at this issue purely from an emotional viewpoint, I reach my verdict in 0.0000000000000000001 seconds. Flush this language down the toilet. Punto e basta.

However, when you look at this issue from a logical, practical, and linguistic point of view, you can understand the validity of our gurus’ logic. Let’s take a word that we use practically every day. The verb ‘to park’ in Maltese is ‘tipparkja’. It doesn’t look awful doesn’t it? It’s all psychological. I think that it doesn’t look bad (at least in my eyes) because all the letters in this word have their own proper sound.  Hence the word looks Maltese.

On the other hand, the ‘oa’ in ‘coach’ is replaced by the ‘ow’ in ‘kowc’. This looks absolutely ridiculous and phoney.  Having said that, if we had to use the verb ‘coaching’, ‘tikkowcja’ looks much more appropriate than ‘tikcoachja’.

There’s more. Take ‘spray’ for example. If we had to keep the original English spelling (which I would prefer – on an emotional level), would tisprayja work? Definitely not. It’s a smorgasbord of different languages with disastrous results. It’s akin to using zalzett tal-Malti instead of pork to create a Chine/Maltese sweet and sour recipe.

Malti Safi enthusiasts may rebut this claim by asserting that we have a semitic word for this, and therefore there should be no issue. The Maltese word is ‘tharreg’ but this is not a correct replacement of ‘coaching’. Tahrig is training and there is a marked difference between coaching and training.

While I believe that the gurus are wrong to change the structure of plurals (like ghelieqi instead of eghlieqi; and ghasafar instead of aghsafar) because of popular ignorance towards the structure (which is quite easy when you realise that ‘Razzett”s changes form to  ‘Irziezet’ – the vowel precedes the first consonant), I can understand that the only way to make ‘imported’ words work is by giving them a Maltese structure.

Written by mickeymalta

05/04/2009 at 11:13

Posted in Blog Main Page, Media

Tagged with , ,