Mickey Malta

Notes from the zone where 'normal' things don't happen very often

Posts Tagged ‘Malta

Something is not quite right

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Someone must have spiked our water. No doubt about it.

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m convinced that someone must have spiked our water with some funny substance that forces us to behave like nincompoops who have been drugged with a substance more powerful than cocaine and magic mushrooms put together.

Why anyone would do such a thing is still a mystery to me, but something has been going awfully wrong these past few weeks – even by the standards of The Zone Where Normal Things Don’t Happen Very Often!

I first started suspecting that things are not quite right when there was an uproar against the bishops’ declaration that those living in permanent sin should not receive communion. As you are VERY well aware, I am no supporter of any organised religion but in this case the bishops are right. Morality is all about the choices we make, and unmarried people who have sex with each other are no exception. It is their choice to lead that lifestyle. It is their choice to live together. It is their choice to have sex with each other. These choices are not congruent with the Catholic doctrine, and therefore – by Catholic standards – these people are living in a permanent state of sin. Now the Catholic Church teaches that in order to receive communion, one should have a clean conscience. Since humans are sinners by nature, Catholics must be aware of their wrongdoings,  repent and confess their sins to cleanse their souls before receiving “the body of Christ”. A powerful statement indeed.

So this essentially means that if someone is living out of wedlock, she or he must realise that she or he is living in sin, repent, confess and ditch that lifestyle once and for all. Clearly, this is not possible for anyone living with a sexual partner out of the Catholic wedlock. How can two people who choose to live together out of Catholic wedlock claim to repent from their sins on a weekly basis, ask for forgiveness, receive communion, and go back home to their partner? This makes a whole mockery both out of confession and communion – two bastions of the Catholic religion.

Religion is a way of life. If you feel that the teachings of your religion don’t make sense to you and your personal circumstances, then all you have to do is leave that religion. It’s easy. Unless you’re living in some extremist Islamic Theocracy, no one is going to kill you if you do it. I did it myself, and so can anyone else.

In a strange way, this is similar to the educational grants blunder. We cannot expect to defy the rules (even though in this case it was a genuine oversight – but the fact of the matter is that an important rule was not respected) and still claim the prize. Once the rules are broken, the players are disqualified. This is the reality in the real world.

When the dust on the communion saga started to settle, our dear Prime Minister made a conscious and a bold statement by visiting the Cana movement accompanied by his wife and claiming that the government’s policy is to promote a society based on a stable family. BRAVO. Which government doesn’t want to promote a society based on strong families?

The message he wanted to convey is very clear: he does not and will not support the introduction of divorce – even though he claimed that he welcomes a discussion on the subject. We can discuss divorce till we’re blue in the face, but that’s where the buck stops.

The objective of divorce is not to save a shattered marriage. It never was, and never will be. Divorce is a mechanism to give another opportunity to those people who were unfortunate enough to go through the harsh experience of a marital breakdown. The irony is that the introduction of divorce will make it possible for these people to re-marry thus creating more stable families; so if our politicians were REALLY in favour of stable families, the House would approve a divorce bill unanimously.

Just a footnote: the subject of re-marrying brings me back to the first point. Couples who were married, got divorced, and married someone else are STILL living in permanent sin according to Catholic teachings. So divorcees will still be barred from receiving communion. This is , once again, very obvious to me but given the uproar a few weeks ago, I feel that I need to include this disclaimer.

As time went by, the funny substance in our water system was clearly leaving its mark. Cue Dr Adrian Vassallo  and Dr Carmelo Mifsud Bonnici in the Parliamentary version of Dum and Dumber. Dr Vassallo got all worked up because some of our hotels are screening porn movies on their tv screens as part of their pay per view packages. On his part, the Justice Minister replied that the Police is investigating these cases. I bloody well hope that the Minister’s reply is not a serious one, and that he just blurted something out instead of asking Dr Vassallo if he really meant what he said in the PQ or whether this was just a sad, silly practical joke done in bad taste.

As if this wasn’t enough to spice up our dull news pages,  Dr Vassallo notched his mission to takes us back to the middle ages a bit higher. A few days following his ludicrous PQ, he went on record stating that he’d rather rot in the streets of Iran defending his religion than living in a country where . . . horror of horrors . . . porn is screened in hotels. Do I actually need to comment on this?

This whole saga led to another unusual occurrence: a positive news delivered by MaltaToday. Today’s edition of this newspaper carried an interview with Dr Vassallo where he claimed that he won’t be contesting the general elections again. Hurray. Some sense at last.

Is the effect of the funny substance wearing off?


Written by mickeymalta

13/06/2010 at 23:35

The theocracy where ‘normal’ things don’t happen very often

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Hahahaha. They didn’t question me.


Interrogati għax esprimew fehemthom dwar il-Papa

What did you exactly mean by "freedom of speech?"

Il-Pulizija żammet u nterrogat persuni li fl-aħħar sigħat esprimew ħsibijiet ta’ kritika fil-konfront tal-Papa Benedittu XVI.

F’każ ieħor li jhedded il-libertà tal-espres sjoni, dawn il-persuni kienu miżmuma f’ċella, għal ftit sigħat, qabel imbagħad kienu interrogati.

Il-pulizija wissew lil dawn il-persuni dwar il-messaġġi tagħhom fuq in-network soċjali facebook. Liema messaġġi l-uffiċjali tal-Korp iddeskrivew bħala “antagonisti”.

Fost il-persuni nterrogati kien hemm min tkellem dwar l-aħħar każi ta’ abbuż sesswali fi ħdan il-Knisja.

Ma kinux wieħed u t-tnejn li esprimew id-diżappunt tagħhom għal mod kif il-knisja taħt it-tmexxija tal-aħħar żewġ Papiet imxiet f’dawn il-każi.

Intant wieħed mill-kummenti li l-pulizija ġabret persuna dwarhom, fejn saħansitra marret tfittxu f’daru u fuq il-post tax-xogħol, kien jgħid li l-“papa huwa kriminal u li għandu jgħaddi ġuri f’qorti ċivili.”

Jidher li l-kumment ta’ dan l-individwu huwa mnebbah mill-argumenti li għamel il-korrispondent tal-ġurnal influwenti Ingliż The Guardian, Richard Dawkins.

Dawkins stqarr li minkejja li l-Papa Benedittu XVI ma kienx wieħed mill-qassisin li abbużaw mit-tfal, il-Papa għandu jwieġeb bħala l-Kap tal-Knisja.

Huwa appella biex meta jżur l-Ingilterra ikun arrestat u jekk huwa innoċenti għandu jipprova dan fil-qorti.

Dawkins iżid isemmi l-każi li għalihom irid lill-Papa iwieġeb.

Anke jekk huma ħafna dawk li ma jaqblux mal-argumenti ta’ Dawkins, inkluż fl-Ingilterra, huwa la kien arrestat u lanqas interrogat mill-Pulizija, kif ġara f’Malta fl-aħħar sigħat.

It-TORĊA ppruvat tieħu l-kummenti tal-Kummissarju tal-Pulizija John Rizzo dwar dawn il-każ.

Minkejja dan kull attentat biex nagħmlu kuntatt miegħu sfuma fix-xejn.

F’intervista li ppubblikajna nhar il-Ħadd li għadda, Rizzo qal li l-pulizija għandha tara li kulħadd josserva l-liġi u jekk għandu jsir xi tibdil fil-liġi għandu jsir mil-leġiżlatur.

Written by mickeymalta

19/04/2010 at 23:15

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The Telegraph:

Pope falls asleep during mass

Pope Benedict XVI briefly nodded off in front of tens of thousands of people during an outdoor mass in Malta’s capital, Valletta.

By Nick Squires in Valletta
Published: 8:09PM BST 18 Apr 2010

Sleeping beauty

The Pope slumped forward around halfway through the mass, which was held just outside the historic stone walls encircling the city.

He had to be roused by the Vatican’s master of ceremonies, Bishop Guido Marini, who was sitting next to him and gently nudged him.

“It was just for a few seconds,” said an onlooker. “He slumped forward onto his chest.”

Although the pontiff spent only 26 hours in Malta after flying in from Rome on Saturday, he had a busy and tiring schedule of events – meeting dignitaries and Malta’s president, waving to crowds from his “Pope-mobile” and expressing his sorrow to a group of sex abuse victims.

But his apparent exhaustion is also a reflection of his age – he turned 83 on Friday.

The Vatican announced recently that the Pope will not take his usual holiday in northern Italy this summer because officials do not want to over-tax him.

His health is generally good but he takes medication for a cardiovascular condition and last summer slipped and fell in his bedroom.

The Vatican had to allay fears over the his health in December after it was announced that he would celebrate Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve two hours earlier than normal.

The decision was taken in order to “alleviate a little the Pope’s tiredness”, said the Vatican’s official spokesman, Father Federico Lombardi.

Written by mickeymalta

19/04/2010 at 23:03

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The blue penis deceit

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Not approved by the Neo C posse

Fresh from The Times

Luqa ‘phallic’ monument hidden with banner

Members of the Neo Catechumenal Movement hid the infamous Luqa monument with a banner as the Pope passed through Luqa on his way to Valletta.

The large black and white banner carried the words “Cammino Neo Catecumenale” and a colour picture of the Madonna and child.

The phallic like structure in Luqa has made it to the international news in the past days after the mayor requested its removal.

Essentially, the messages that the Neo C sect is sending are:

  • the Pope will interpret the Luqa phallus as a practical joke related to his paedophile subjects’ favourite tool
  • the Pope is not old/mature enough to be exposed to sexual imagery
  • the Pope lacks any intellectual ability to appreciate modern art
  • it’s OK for all other Heads of state and common (Rocker) folk to be exposed to the blue penis, but the Pope is a cut above the rest

If Nazinger is allergic to blue penises, then he should not be allowed to watch Watchmen.

Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 17:41

A rare event indeed

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Ratzinger: the male Bobbit

After they finish reading this, my friends and family will slap themselves to see if they’re dreaming. They will check if they’re still under the effect of a funny cocktail made of magic mushrooms, weed, and Absynth. This is a rare event indeed. I just read this report on The Times Online. I’m gobsmacked. I’m flabbergasted. I’M SPEECHLESS!

Luqa local council has demanded the removal of the ‘monument of shame’ opposite the Lidl supermarket, before the Pope’s visit.

In a statement issued today, Mayor John Schembri said that the council welcomed the fact that Pope Benedict would be going to Luqa.

However, he added, “in the opinion of the council, the Pope’s first visit among us risks being a source of embarrassment to the people of Luqa and the Maltese in general, due to the obscene ‘monument’ which is still dominating the ‘LIDL’ roundabout on one’s entry into the village.”

Mr Schembri said that ever since this parody of artistic expression was erected, the council had never ceased to draw the attention of the central government to the fact that this monument, if indeed it deserved the name, constituted a vulgar insult as well as an arrogant imposition on the people of Luqa.

“On this issue, the Council has already consulted and has the total backing of the ecclesiastical authorities of the village, who have in fact already written to complain about the absurd welcome immediately awaiting the Pope’s arrival at Luqa and have asked for a quick redress of the situation. There can be no doubt that, among the people of Luqa, there is a widespread cross-party consensus that the object placed at the entrance of Luqa is not the most fitting way in which to greet the Pope, especially by what is considered to be the most Catholic country in the world.

“Consequently, the Luqa Local Council is once again launching a firm and heartfelt appeal to Government, and particularly the Parliamentary Secretary in charge of Local Councils, to make a timely and mature intervention ordering the removal of this so-called work of art which has been lumped upon the village of Luqa.

“If not out of respect for the residents of Luqa, this intervention is being requested at least as a sign of respect for His Holiness the Pope. This would, in the Council’s opinion, be a fitting conclusion to the current praiseworthy embellishment exercise being carried out in the Pope’s honour across the Maltese Islands.”

Colonna Mediterranea, as the monument is actually called, is the work of Paul Vella Critien and was installed in January 2006. The monumental sculpture was said to be an abstract based on fantasy and the beauty of the Mediterranean colours.

Written by mickeymalta

12/04/2010 at 20:18

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Ban the internet – it’s bad for our souls

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The perfect citizen for our moral crusaders' dream world

Our moral crusaders have been working hard to protect our souls from eternal damnation. They have been exposing their poor souls at risk by exposing themselves to filth in order to ensure that nothing dirty gets through. God bless them! They’re so kind. We should be so grateful to them.

Tereza Scissorhands et al deserve recognition for their efforts to shelter us from all evil of this world. I would really like to join them keep our sacred place clean. Let’s entrench the law that bans anyone from offending public morals in our constitution. Let’s take our cue from the GREAT Paul Vincenti, God bless him, and start a new movement called Gift of Guard.

Let’s strengthen our bastions to save the Rockers’ souls from the onslaught of the infidel around us. Let’s go one step further from our mentors – the leaders of China. Let’s start by banning the internet. There’s a lot of filth out there poking fun at our beliefs. There’s a lot of offensive material. Let the Crusaders of The Truth exercise their God-given-right to offer the protection we need.


Written by mickeymalta

26/02/2010 at 16:51

Malta people very nice

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Arrest me . . . I'm poking fun at a religious figure

If anyone ever needed written proof that this is the zone where normal things don’t happen very often, all he or she has to do is look at the front page of today’s The Times.

It carries a story about yesterday’s protest from the Front Kontra c-Censura in Valletta. The reasons that led these people to form this Front and to hold a protest in a democratic country that claims to be European are simply beyond belief. The fact that the year is 2010 adds insult to injury. One may argue that the fact that a crowd of 300 has the freedom to protest against censorship is evidence of freedom of expression.

It seems to me that our notion of freedom of expression is skewed at best. This is a police state and a  theocracy. In no other country that upholds freedom of expression would the Police even dare to dream to screen the lyrics of carnival festivities. No normal (by  standards of the free world) country would prosecute people for dressing up as religious figures – especially during carnival. So many people look down on Islam because of its repression and that is precisely what our country is doing – repressing people under the pretext that it’s not allowed by law.

There is a mob that seems to believe that it has the right to ban anything it disagrees with, or anything that pokes fun at the values and beliefs it holds dear. Let me burst the bubble of those who pontificate about Muslims’ and Jews’ intolerance. About a year ago, London’s West End started hosting a new production by Richard Bean called “England People Very Nice“. It pokes fun at Muslim, Jewish, French and Bangladeshi immigrants who have been travelling to the UK since the 17th century.  Needless to say, some immigrants – especially the Muslims – weren’t too amused. Instead of calling for a ban on this play (as Rocker fundamentalists would do), they organised a series of  protests outside the theatre to express their disapproval at how they were being portrayed.  I see two possible reasons why did not call for a ban on this production: 1) they could have possibly internalised the European value of tolerance; or 2) they knew that asking for a ban would have been a lost cause as it would simply have not happened.

Back to The Rock. It’s not the archaic laws that are a matter of concern, but the fact that at this day and age people need to raise awareness about censorship and ask for these laws to be abolished. Can anyone imagine a protest against censorship in neighbouring Italy, Germany, or Scandinavia?

There are other archaic laws in or books – like the spontaneous gathering of 13 people or more without the written permit from the Police. If this law had to be enforced to the letter, there will be hundreds of people arrested every single day from every part of the Island.

For obvious reasons, the Police use common sense and they don’t apply this law to the letter. So if they choose to let common sense prevail in this case, then they should have done so during last year’s carnival in Nadur. But they didn’t. It was their choice to arraign people in court taking their cue from the smiling Archbishop a few days before.

Yesterday’s crowd also protested against a clause in the Press Act stipulating that print material cannot carry any criticism of public morals. Why do the authorities need a Front to tell them that this is wrong? Isn’t  it obvious  that this is unacceptable in this day and age?  Ditto for  the law banning anyone from making any form of artistic criticism of the country’s official religion. It’s already bad that we have an “official religion”, and by protecting it our authorities are rubbing salt in this big wound.

As I said in my previous posting, if we truly believe that we belong in the old continent and its values, we must not only limit ourselves to EU economic practices. We must officially embrace the European way of life. The way most of the inhabitants of this little place lead their life is in no way, shape or form any different from their European counterparts.

It’s high time that the authorities stop presenting a fake facade of a country that exists only in the fantasy of their wishful thinking. Their loyalties should lie towards the people who elected them. It is no coincidence that Parliament is also referred to as “The House of Representatives”. Hence, the Parliamentarians’  loyalties should lie towards their constituents, and not towards an institution that has been proved wrong time and again. An institution that thrives on people’s material, spiritual and intellectual poverty.

Written by mickeymalta

25/02/2010 at 18:44