Mickey Malta

Notes from the zone where 'normal' things don't happen very often

Posts Tagged ‘Humour

Double standards are divisive

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You see? JC and Muhammed are friends

First of all I would like to apologise for the hiatus but I am flat out and snowed under at work. My new boss is a slave driver and I’ve been literally working 16 hours a day for these past 2 weeks.

Now that I got this out of the system, I can finally start to vent my frustrations again. As early as last Month, Comedy Central censored an episode of South Park because it mocked the Prophet Muhammed. Now this is bad, and it’s not the mockery of Muhammed I’m talking about, but the censorship. I believe that people should be free to make fun of symbols and leaders – be they political or religious – and I don’t agree with censorship on the basis that the humour may offend others.

I’m sure that any kind of joke on any subject is bound to offend someone at some point. The fish breeders association, for instance, may be offended by someone who links fish with stupidity because of their short term memory loss. This is the way I see it: if you feel offended by something you’re watching on TV, change channel. If you are offended by something that someone said during a live show in a theatre, walk out. You are actually free to do so.

I can never come to terms with the idea that some people want to stop others from doing what they do because the patronising idiots don’t like the other performer’s work. Get a life.

Having said that, I am completely allergic to double standards. So the same Comedy Central TV station that censored the South Park episode less than a month ago is now working on an animated series based on Christ. I’m no fan of any religion, but if South Park was censored on the basis of religion, why are they making a whole series to mock JC?

The Western world tends to be more tolerant than the Muslim world, and many people in the West think that it is OK to mock religion while the same cannot be said of the Muslim world. However, Comedy Central have now set a precedent and they should be consistent.

It is precisely this kind of behaviour from fellow Westerners that is fomenting religious divisions in different societies. Just because Muslims are VERY vociferous and dogmatic they should not get a special treatment. Comedy Central needs to have a clear policy on religious mockery. It should decide whether this is acceptable (and I agree it is), or not. Applying double standards is unjust and, ultimately, divisive.

Written by mickeymalta

08/05/2010 at 10:47

Mass on Facebook

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I will attract youngsters to me thanks to this trendy attire

The smiling bishop has just claimed that “The Catholic Church should examine itself and its methods of evangelisation” according to The Times. I guess that this means that we will be flooded with Facebook churches and “bible reading of the day” tweets.

Obviously, the Church needs to choose a medium that is a one way communication vehicle. No matter how much the Catholic Church talks about changing times, it has to keep preaching and talking down to its followers. It has no other option because it’s a religion. It is promoting a product full of logical fallacies, superstition and fantasy; and blind faith is the only reason why people don’t question and challenge their beliefs. The minute that dogma is challenged, the very existence of the organisation is threatened. That’s why Religions have to resort to indoctrination as opposed to teaching – even though they claim otherwise.

When you teach something to someone, you reason it out, discuss it with the learner, let him or her challenge your claims, and reach a conclusion. For very obvious reasons, no religion can ever adopt this approach. Otherwise there will be chaos together with a whole myriad of mixed messages coming out from different people.  For this reason, no religion can be ‘modern’ and appealing to an intelligent society.

It’s also funny to see the head of Rocker Curia coming up with this assertion, especially when this is put into the whole context of his previous assertions. Only a few months ago, these same heads were on the brink of hysteria to intimidate and control revellers at the Nadur carnival; when carnival is the reign of anarchy.  The smiling bishop is also that same person who lashed out at secularism during his homily on 8 September 2008.

If the heads of our Curia can’t understand post-modern philosophy – which is now passé, how can they ever think of speaking the language of “modern people”?

Written by mickeymalta

18/04/2010 at 10:34

We’re led by idiots

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Razzie's bedtime reading book for tonight

As you may be very well aware by now, I am not a fan of Josef Ratzinger detto “Nazinger”. Neither I am fond of the institution he represents. Having said that, I respect him as a Head of State, and as a religious leader of millions of people.

I think that by now, he must have been pinching himself incessantly, and he must have been asking his closest aides to slap him hard in the face to make sure that what he witnessed so far is real. In other words, he would want to confirm that he is not dreaming.

‘m more than sure that he must be thinking to himself that he was transported to the zone where normal things don’t happen very often.

When he met PM Gonzi earlier this evening, the Head of Government cracked the silliest of jokes. He said that “he hoped that the ash cloud currently causing air traffic chaos in Europe would delay his departure tomorrow, thus giving him the time to go to Gozo.” Acording to The Times online ” The joke was made during a private meeting at the Palace in Valletta before an exchange of gifts. The Pope smiled, but did not reply” – which is a clear indication that he was not amused. Let’s face it: this is the mother of all bad taste jokes. It’s a joke that one would crack with a friend or relative, or maybe (just maybe) an acquaintance, but not a dignitary. It sounds like a typical comment a classical nerd would pass to the gorgeous chick whom he has a big crush on.

But the best is yet to come. It seems to me that the two political leaders are challenging each other for the Twat of the Day Award. Joseph and Michelle Muscat were carrying their children while they went to meet the Pope. Worse still, Maltastar‘s bid to control the damage is even more ridiculous than their boss’s antics: “Commenting on the meeting, Dr Muscat said that he really appreciated the way the Pope treated and appreciated the presence of his children.” Where in the world would you see this? Not even Gaddafi or any like-minded eccentric idiot would do such a thing? I wonder whether this was a case of Nazinger passed a snide remark about the kids in the room, and the Muscats actually thinking that he was actually complimenting them for their innovative ideas. This is the sort of incident where a polite person would say: “ah! You brought your children. That’s interesting!”

This whole debacle looks like a typical scene out of Blackadder where Joey Baldrick pulls up a stunt to outdo his archrival after coming up with “a cunning plan”  following the news that that Lorry Blackadder made an utter fool out of himself. They truly are dumb and dumber.

As Sir Alan Sugar would tell his (The Apprentice) candidates: “you’re a bloody disaster . . . . .”

Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 21:45

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The blue penis deceit

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Not approved by the Neo C posse

Fresh from The Times

Luqa ‘phallic’ monument hidden with banner

Members of the Neo Catechumenal Movement hid the infamous Luqa monument with a banner as the Pope passed through Luqa on his way to Valletta.

The large black and white banner carried the words “Cammino Neo Catecumenale” and a colour picture of the Madonna and child.

The phallic like structure in Luqa has made it to the international news in the past days after the mayor requested its removal.

Essentially, the messages that the Neo C sect is sending are:

  • the Pope will interpret the Luqa phallus as a practical joke related to his paedophile subjects’ favourite tool
  • the Pope is not old/mature enough to be exposed to sexual imagery
  • the Pope lacks any intellectual ability to appreciate modern art
  • it’s OK for all other Heads of state and common (Rocker) folk to be exposed to the blue penis, but the Pope is a cut above the rest

If Nazinger is allergic to blue penises, then he should not be allowed to watch Watchmen.

Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 17:41

God on film

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Oh God! He looks happy. Why is no one talking to him?

It seems that journalists at The Times are consistently failing to do a decent job on week-ends. They failed to follow-up on a story that could answer millions of questions to billions of people; a story that will undoubtedly bring peace and love to the whole world (or floods and pestilence – depending on the main character’s mood). And yet, they do nothing about it.

About an hour ago, The Times updated their website to keep us all informed about the Pope’s visit, and they publish a picture of . . . GOD HIMSELF! There’s no mention of an interview (planned or hastily carried out) with HIM. What is this? Are they afraid that the Pope will be pissed off because he was upstaged by his boss?

Let’s face it. Statistics show that Atheism is the third biggest religion, and God’s presence here on the Rock will definitely put an estimated 1.1 billion people out of their misery. I cannot possibly fathom how our illustrious journalists did nothing about this once-in-a-planet-lifetime event! God reveals himself to us and they ignore him because they’re too busy waiting for the Pope. There are so many questions they could have asked him. They could have also invited him to address the whole world . . . . after Ratzinger’s address, of course.  This is a great opportunity to speak to everyone journalists from all corners of the world will be following Razzie in these next few hours; or shall I say minutes?

But what’s REALLY surprising  is that for the first time in His life, God looks happy. He is ACTUALLY smiling. After decades of drowning people and handing out punishments like Kwiksave gifts, God is finally happy. And he got himself pictured in a miraculous t-shirt with the word “Paulus” written in reverse too!

Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 16:20

A rare event indeed

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Ratzinger: the male Bobbit

After they finish reading this, my friends and family will slap themselves to see if they’re dreaming. They will check if they’re still under the effect of a funny cocktail made of magic mushrooms, weed, and Absynth. This is a rare event indeed. I just read this report on The Times Online. I’m gobsmacked. I’m flabbergasted. I’M SPEECHLESS!

Luqa local council has demanded the removal of the ‘monument of shame’ opposite the Lidl supermarket, before the Pope’s visit.

In a statement issued today, Mayor John Schembri said that the council welcomed the fact that Pope Benedict would be going to Luqa.

However, he added, “in the opinion of the council, the Pope’s first visit among us risks being a source of embarrassment to the people of Luqa and the Maltese in general, due to the obscene ‘monument’ which is still dominating the ‘LIDL’ roundabout on one’s entry into the village.”

Mr Schembri said that ever since this parody of artistic expression was erected, the council had never ceased to draw the attention of the central government to the fact that this monument, if indeed it deserved the name, constituted a vulgar insult as well as an arrogant imposition on the people of Luqa.

“On this issue, the Council has already consulted and has the total backing of the ecclesiastical authorities of the village, who have in fact already written to complain about the absurd welcome immediately awaiting the Pope’s arrival at Luqa and have asked for a quick redress of the situation. There can be no doubt that, among the people of Luqa, there is a widespread cross-party consensus that the object placed at the entrance of Luqa is not the most fitting way in which to greet the Pope, especially by what is considered to be the most Catholic country in the world.

“Consequently, the Luqa Local Council is once again launching a firm and heartfelt appeal to Government, and particularly the Parliamentary Secretary in charge of Local Councils, to make a timely and mature intervention ordering the removal of this so-called work of art which has been lumped upon the village of Luqa.

“If not out of respect for the residents of Luqa, this intervention is being requested at least as a sign of respect for His Holiness the Pope. This would, in the Council’s opinion, be a fitting conclusion to the current praiseworthy embellishment exercise being carried out in the Pope’s honour across the Maltese Islands.”

Colonna Mediterranea, as the monument is actually called, is the work of Paul Vella Critien and was installed in January 2006. The monumental sculpture was said to be an abstract based on fantasy and the beauty of the Mediterranean colours.

Written by mickeymalta

12/04/2010 at 20:18

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An excellent review of the (upcoming) Papal visit

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Ratzinger after Mona's Pasta Cooking Class

So our favourite restaurant critic decided to make mince meat out of the current farce we’re experiencing and wrote her own incisive review of Ratzinger’s visit.

Enjoy it . . .

Written by mickeymalta

12/04/2010 at 16:51

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