Mickey Malta

Notes from the zone where 'normal' things don't happen very often

The blue penis deceit

with 2 comments

Not approved by the Neo C posse

Fresh from The Times

Luqa ‘phallic’ monument hidden with banner

Members of the Neo Catechumenal Movement hid the infamous Luqa monument with a banner as the Pope passed through Luqa on his way to Valletta.

The large black and white banner carried the words “Cammino Neo Catecumenale” and a colour picture of the Madonna and child.

The phallic like structure in Luqa has made it to the international news in the past days after the mayor requested its removal.

Essentially, the messages that the Neo C sect is sending are:

  • the Pope will interpret the Luqa phallus as a practical joke related to his paedophile subjects’ favourite tool
  • the Pope is not old/mature enough to be exposed to sexual imagery
  • the Pope lacks any intellectual ability to appreciate modern art
  • it’s OK for all other Heads of state and common (Rocker) folk to be exposed to the blue penis, but the Pope is a cut above the rest

If Nazinger is allergic to blue penises, then he should not be allowed to watch Watchmen.


Written by mickeymalta

17/04/2010 at 17:41

2 Responses

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  1. You mentioned the Times. I have been trying to post some of this on their comments but it gets censored. Now I can confirm that the readers’ thoughts are not equally represented:

    How many penises does it take to make the Maltese cross?
    Apparently a large blue-green one.
    In the same Triq San Tumas, about 700m before the ‘shaft’ sculpture that has suddenly got so many religiots excited, there lies another monument, a mother and child, with the little child’s weener visible and pointing towards the old airport terminal building. This must have been overlooked by every John, Dick and Benny, not least the Luqa council mayor John Schembri and fellow members. IMHO this statue has more potential to prick the pope’s conscience, since rather the one huge penis, it is the numerous smaller pre-pubescent variety that must be causing the pope to lose his sleep.
    The shaft sculpture, the one modeled on some old Egyptian penis symbol, has had the Luqa mayor aiming his stiff criticism towards it for the past 4 years, so for fairness sake, one cannot accuse him of sitting on it all this time. It’s just that the pope’s visit has made his crusade reach an unprecedented climax. (can’t help imagining what he would do if he were mayor of Pisa). Sadly, with the ease of communication the internet brought along, it has now been blown out of proportion and will be remembered as the greatest cock-up of 2010. I just wish he could have seen it coming.
    If the major concern is that this might embarrass the pope, the mayor should just find a way for hiding it…I’m confident that if he asks nicely, the Vatican would be more than willing to provide suggestions on covering it up. If it were up to me, I would not go to any great lengths to hide it…if I were the pope I would take a hint from the monument and turn a blind eye. Honestly, before it was suggested to me that this monument resembled a penis, I used to think it was a statue of some bishop in a polo-neck sweater or something…. To turn the argument on its head, isn’t it the pope that goes around wearing a hat that resembles the monument in question?
    And anyway, if it were removed, would it be discarded like some tonsils that have been surgically removed or would it be transplanted to some other location? If it has to move, it might look nice in the countryside such as perched on a cliff in Fomm ir-Rih, but I suspect being out of the way it would be abused and vandalized. How about somewhere near Ggantija temples…I can see it easily picked up and developed within the ‘giants-who-built-the-temples’ myth. Or for a more original location, it can be placed underwater in one of the numerous diving locations…the Gozo Blue hole in Dwejra springs to mind…It certainly isn’t an easy task finding it a new home, not everybody can do it…it’s a matter of finding the person with the balls.
    p.s. All boat owners who will be escorting the pope across the harbor must keep a 50m distance from the pope’s catamaran in order not to create unnecessary wakes, the pope has already expressed his wishes that he does not like his boat to be rocked.

    D Micallef

    17/04/2010 at 19:17

    • Well, since the Pope is the master of cover-ups, the Neo C clan came up with an interesting way to cover up cock ups


      17/04/2010 at 20:00

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